Parker's Humor
by Cunri of the Mountains
Summary: A morning conversation between Parker and Eliot. No one appreciates her humor.


Sitting on the living room couch, Parker was practicing her lockpicking chatting with Eliot while he was in the kitchen behind her making breakfast. This was their usual routine. They talked about everything from movies to cons to dreams, or sometimes, they just kept silent. Parker sighed and got up from the couch, choosing instead to perch on the counter. She watched Eliot chop green bell peppers and onions, whisking them together with eggs in a skillet. Seeing his hair pulled back in a ponytail, she snorted.

He rolled his eyes and looked at her. "What?"

She reached out and batted his brown hair, watching it swing, "You look ridiculous with your hair up like that."

He looked back at the skillet, "Thanks for your input." He grumbled sarcastically. He set the skillet off the heat and turned off the stove. Pumping soap into his hands, he washed any onion juice that remained on his fingers.

She opened her mouth to reply, but as he turned away, her eyes caught a flash of color just above his jeans. "Are you wearing bright red boxers?" She laughed.

Eliot pulled his shirt over the fabric, snarling at her. "No, they're shorts." He turned off the sink and dried is hands on a plain hand towel.

"Why would you have shorts on under your pants? And why would they be firetruck red?"

He threw the hand towel down in frustration. "First of all, they're not 'firetruck red', they are scarlet. Second of all, I got them for the con three weeks ago when I had to coach a bunch of five-year-old girls." He pointed his finger at the eggs. "And third, I had to get up at 5am to go to the store for eggs because someone put the empty container back in the fridge."

She tried to hide her smile, "So, instead of changing pants, you just put jeans on over your shorts?"

"Yes," he hissed. "It was faster."

Parker suddenly gasped and grabbed Eliot's arm. "When Hardison gets up, you should drop your pants."

He shrugged her off with a huff. "What?"

"Not your pants and your shorts, just the pants." She was giggling like a child now. "It would be hilarious. He walks in, says something about computers or something, then you just look at him, and drop your pants." Eliot merely stared at her, so she continued. "He would be all, 'Eliot! Ahh. What the heck man?'" She flailed her arms, covering her eyes with one hand and batting at him with the other.

Eliot smacked her hand away. "There's something wrong with you."

"Oh, come on. Please?"

"No, Parker." He scooped some eggs into his plate. "That's weird."

"What's weird?"

They both looked up to see Hardison in the doorway, fiddling with a circuit board.

"Eliot, do it now!"

"No!"

"Please!"

Hardison was thoroughly confused now. "Do what?"

Parker huffed. "Wouldn't it be hilarious is Eliot just dropped his pants?"

Hardison's eyes were wide. "What? No!" He looked around the room, avoiding the hitter's gaze. "Why would you want that?"

"He's wearing shorts." She grumbled. "He wouldn't drop both."

Hardison stepped past her, smelling the eggs. "Parker, you've got problems."

"Does no one appreciate my humor?" Fetching a plate and sitting on the next to Eliot, she sighed. "Sophie would find it funny."

Eliot almost spit his eggs. "Sophie?"

Hardison sat on the other side of Parker, "Uh uh, Sophie would _not_, I repeat: _not_ find it funny."

"We'll just see about that." She stood, slinking into the other room.

"Man, you don't think she's going to try it, do you?" Hardison wondered, taking another bite of eggs.

"I don't know." Eliot muttered.

The room was slient for a few minutes. The tension had settled, and the two ate their breakfast in peace. They had almost forgot about the blond.

"Oh hey, Parker," The boys heard Sophie's voice from the other room. They shot each other a glance. "What's going on?" They suddenly heard Sophie scream. Their jaws dropped. "Blimey, Parker!"

Hardison leaned in. "I can't believe she did it."

Parker wandered back in and flopped down on the couch. "You were right, she did _not_ find it funny."


End file.
